He Said, She Said, Kyoya Said
by Reiven
Summary: Gen-fic. The twins annoy, Tamaki quotes and as usual, Haruhi is caught in the crossfire. Poor Confucius must be turning around in his grave.


**Fandom**: Ouran High School Host Club  
**Authoress**: Reiven.  
**Rating**: General  
**Genre**: Humour.  
**Character(s)**: Tamaki, Hikaru, Kaoru, Haruhi and Kyoya.  
**Summary**: Tamaki is annoyed at Hikaru and Kaoru and the three indulge in a Quote War. Poor Confucius must be turning around in his grave.

This was written for Contest #5 (theme: Confucianism) on livejournal: **ouran fic**.

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**He Said, She Said, Kyoya Said  
**_By Reiven _

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Haruhi was in high spirits as she pushed open the doors leading to the music room that morning; she'd woken up on the good side of the bed, made breakfast and bid her father farewell as she left for school. But as they say, all good things must come to an end.

"Confucius once said; '_the father who does not teach his son his duties is equally guilty with the son who neglected them_.'"

Haruhi stopped at the door, brown eyes gazing into the room at her blonde sempai who was currently standing a top the sofa; in one hand was a brown, hard cover book and while the other was currently clutching the front of his shirt dramatically as his face was scrunched to an expression of extreme regret. In front of him, arms crossed over they chests and right leg casually throw over the other and wearing an expression of extreme annoyance, were Hikaru and Kaoru.

Haruhi cautiously approached Kyoya.

"You should learn the error of your ways, Hikaru, Kaoru!" Tamaki spoke with determination. "As the words of Confucius rings true, '_a superior man is modest in his speech but exceeds in his actions_.' Understand it, embrace it!"

"What's going on, Kyoya-sempai?"

The bespectacled teen merely spared her a fleeting glance (she could see the shadows beneath his eyes as a result of exhaustion). "We breeched the topic of Confucianism in class today."

"Tono!--" the twins began with a whine.

Tamaki's hand shot up to silence them. "Boys! It is Confucius who said that '_silence is a true friend that never betrays_.' Take those words to heart; it will be the better of you."

At that exact moment, Hunny, being flanked by Mori, walked into the music room.

"Ah…what does Confucianism have to do with Confucius quotes?" Haruhi asked simply, not really understanding what the connection was.

"That is my copy of Famous Verses from Famous People which I'd bought specifically for this topic," Kyoya added without turning up to look at her.

"Funny of you to say that, Tono," Hikaru glared at him. "You see, Kaoru, it's also Confucius who said that '_only the stupidest of men never change_,'" the elder twin said, shooting a pointed look at his sempai.

"There was also something about wise and whatever," Kaoru added.

The mystery solved, Haruhi decided that this was one day she'd rather not get caught up in their little feuds and began to carefully tip-toe her way out. Unfortunately, half way to freedom, Tamaki spotted her; leaping off the chair and running over the nervous girl he trapped her in a bone crushing hug.

"Oh, Haruhi! '_I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand_.' You missed father while in class didn't you, Haruhi?"

Within a heartbeat, Hikaru and Kaoru appeared by their side, grabbing one of Haruhi's arms and attempted to pull her out of the blonde's embrace.

"Halt ye' foul deeds, demon spawns. Haruhi, stay strong," he looked at the exasperated Haruhi, trapped between the three boys with tears of sadness in his eyes. "Confucius said: '_to see and listen to the wicked is already the beginning of wickedness_!' Strengthen your will to cast aside these evil beings!"

"'_The journey of a thousand miles begins with a simple step_,' Tono. So take a hike!"

"'_But before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves_,'" Tamaki replied through gritted teeth, still firmly keeping his side of Haruhi, who had become somewhat of a tug rope between them.

"Haru-chan," Hunny whimpered, looking between the four.

"'_The real knowledge is to know the extent of ones ignorance'_. Embrace that, Tono."

"Hn. '_Everything has beauty but not everyone sees it_'. That includes you simpletons!"

"Let. Me. Go!" Haruhi commanded, however, her plea fell on deaf ears.

"Confucius said; '_man who stands on toilet it high on pot_!'" Hikaru and Kaoru shouted.

To which Tamaki replied; "Confucius also said; '_he who goes to bed with itchy butt will wake up with smelly fingers_!'"

By this time, Kyoya had had enough. Slamming the thick book he was attempting to read down on the table, causing a loud thump that reverberated around the room, he managed to get everyone's attention.

"'_To know that we know what we know and that we do not know what we do not know, that is the true knowledge_'. Understand that," he said and with long, determined strides left the room. Away from the bemused eyes staring at his retreating back.

Tamaki looked at Kaoru and Hikaru. Then all three turned to look at Haruhi before their eyes rested on the stoic Mori and Hunny standing befuddled on the sidelines.

At long last, Tamaki nodded his head and with a resigned sigh, let go of Haruhi, Kaoru and Hikaru following suit. "Enough of this," he said firmly, whipping his flaxen hair back; "After all, it was Confucius who said; '_I always get confused_.'"

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Owari

Confucius quotes gathered from various resources. The last one is a quote from my father. It was the one that inspired the story actually :D


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